he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
