Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
