He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
