Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
