Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This couple is walking their pig around campus
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize