I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
