i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
