For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
