I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
