Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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