is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
