you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
