thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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