guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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