I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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