I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
