Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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