it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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