there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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