Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
