he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
