I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
