don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
