Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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