yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
