i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
