What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
