So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
