she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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