did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
