well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
