if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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