Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
