apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
