guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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