IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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