a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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