I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I lost the right to judge tonight
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
