My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Princesses don't give blow jobs
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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