All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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