Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
