At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
