I must be too annoying 4 u.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
