My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
