i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She bit a glass in half.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
