i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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