Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
