sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize