Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
