that's an acceptable place to lick
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
