Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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