Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
