ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
