How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to have your abortion
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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