Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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