You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
