just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
