They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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