Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize