it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
