Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize