Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
