Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
