so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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