I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
