Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
