I'm sorry my penis didn't work
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
