She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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