i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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