walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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